Aspirations and expectations
Aspirations and expectations
Managing both on a photoshoot in Cambridge
Hello, I’m Gill and I write a photography blog inspired by the landscapes of Suffolk and beyond. Please subscribe to read more of my writing and visit my website to view my images.
This week I wanted to write something about our expectations as photographers and how these might adversely impact our image making. The subject has been inspired by a trip I took to Cambridge last week and my attempts at photographing an urban landscape.
First I want to tell a quick story about my Dad, who went to Cambridge to study in 1960. Dad’s passion was athletics and he always said he only got into Cambridge because he was good at sport. He competed for England in the triple jump in 1960 before heading to Cambridge where he went on to set the University record for this discipline, which remained unbroken for the next 53 years. Despite being ranked in the top 50 British triple jumpers for consecutive years from 1958 - 67 Dad never spoke to me about his athletics career and I only found this information out after he died.
I think the reason for his silence was that he never lived up to his own expectations. Success where it mattered (in big competitions) eluded him and I think he felt that his aspirations were always greater than his achievements.
Unfortunately not living up to our own high standards is something that can apply in any walk of life, and I often find myself falling into a similar mindset with my photography. Imposted syndrome can feel very real sometimes.
Visiting Cambridge always makes me think of Dad. It is a place that he was really fond of, a place that gave him ‘some of the best years of his life’ and it is hard not to feel a connection with a city that meant so much to him.
I have been coming here since I was small but I have never really explored it with my camera, so I jumped at the chance to see what I could make of it creatively.
Before visiting I spent some time researching the area to get a more in-depth feel for the city’s photographic potential. I began to build images in my head and in hindsight this was a mistake. My aspirations began to exceed my ability.
I am very much a landscape photographer and the natural world is where I am most at home, so immersing myself in the bustle of a cityscape put me out of my comfort zone from the start. I wanted to try some street photography, but pointing a camera at total strangers was never going to come naturally. I had also elected to use my 50mm lens to make my camera lighter to carry around, but this meant I didn’t have a zoom and therefore had to physically get closer to my subjects. I spent the first few hours feeling that everyone was watching me. I was uptight and uncreative and very quickly lost some enthusiasm for what I was doing.
I think my main problem was that I had dared to envisage the images I wanted to make. I had looked at the work of other street photographers, who have been refining their art for years, and assumed that I could make similar work on my first outing!
I persevered with the 50mm lens for the first day of my trip and by the evening I was actually enjoying the experience of using it. Playing with shallow depth of field became fun once I had cast aside my unrealistic expectations and I finished the day with a smile on my face.
On the second day I changed my lens, elected to give myself more choice and reverted back to my 24-70mm. I thought this would make the process easier, but again I was wrong. Confidence is the key to street photography and I am not sure I mastered that over the weekend.
My images and what I learned.
I stated off by shooting everything with a 50mm lens using a shallow depth of field. This is a lens I don’t use that often and I quickly found that I didn’t want to shoot wider vistas but felt much more comfortable shooting smaller scenes with a slightly abstract look. The following three images were all shot wide open at F1.8 which has given the streets a more mysterious effect which I quite like.
Switching to a zoom lens didn’t make photographing people any easier. It was definitely not a case of just zooming in and getting a good image. The wider lens did however help with some architecture shots where the 50mm was just too tight.
Once home I experimented with some black and white edits and while these simplify things a little I decided I still preferred colour even in the built environment.
When I found photographing people too uncomfortable I resorted to shooting small scenes. By the end of the weekend I had taken a lot of these which I decided to put together in a montage to tell a story about the City I felt Dad would have remembered. Something with a more peaceful vibe, using muted desaturated colours to give a feeling of time gone by. This little square of 9 images is my nod to him and the place he loved.
I will never be a street photographer, but I had fun exploring the city with my camera. I am not drawn to photograph people, nature is still the thing that drives my creativity. But I do feel there is huge merit in trying different things, as long as we don’t allow ourselves to feel a failure if our efforts don’t live up to our expectations.
Take away advice
Use whatever lens you feel most comfortable with. In the end I preferred using the 50mm. It was lighter, less obtrusive and I loved the shallow depth of field I could create.
Interesting images come from interesting contrasts. These could be light and shadow, contrasting colours, different architecture or just interesting people in contrasting locations.
When photographing people be bold, be observant and don’t make eye contact. I found once someone had spotted me with the camera their behaviour changed and the photo became less interesting.
If like me you don’t particularly enjoy photographing people focus on some of the smaller details and try and tell the story of a place using a collection of images.
Most of all enjoy what you are doing and don’t put pressure on yourself with high expectations. If you relax into your photography you will find your creativity flows more easily.
My final piece of advice comes from how I felt photographing in Cambridge, but it also goes back to my Dad. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is all about moments and making the most of each and every one. And if, in those moments, we don’t achieve exactly what we thought we would, well at least we tried.
These pictures may not be my best images but I enjoyed the challenge and the chance to share my experience with others and I hope there is some value in that.
Thank you very much for reading and until next week enjoy your photography.
Gill
What ever you might think of these, your images from that weekend are lovely, I’d be proud to do similar. I tried only using my 50mm a while back in Bury St Edmunds and felt much as you describe in this blog. I just wondered if after your initial visit, you’d find it more comfortable a second time - it’s a thought.
A lovely moving article and I don't think anything matches the feeling of proud after the fact, it's always full of emotions.
Your street photography project sounded great and familiar, I have even walked up to a person in the shot to justify, even shown and ask if it's ok! The nod to your farther through the nine fabulous images are just a lovely way to remember him, maybe framed on a wall would bring warming thoughts.